


World so cold

by Nilaza



Series: We Were Soldiers Once [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Reunion Sex, Swearing, Violence, post endor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-11 14:23:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15974141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nilaza/pseuds/Nilaza
Summary: After Endor, Needa and Veers manage to escape the chaos, but the New Republic is still on their tail.





	World so cold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bunn1cula](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunn1cula/gifts).



Needa stopped in his tracks, convinced his mind was playing tricks on him. Four years earlier he had watched the Orbital Battle Station explode through the frontal viewpoints on the Avenger. The explosion had killed everyone onboard, or so he had assumed, yet he briefly caught the gaze of a man over a fruit vender’s counter; a man who bore the uncanny likeness to that of Tiaan Jerjerrod. But it couldn’t be, the Moff had been dead for four years. 

In spite of this, Needa’s pulse quickened as he looked closer at the man in question. His coat was worn and buttoned from neck to waist, and his hair was long and blond, and currently shielding his face as he bent over to look at the fruit on sale. 

Needa tried to convince himself his mind was playing tricks on him, but before he could make a move to confirm, the man turned and walked away briskly. Needa raced after him, stepping on a few toes in the process. He nearly lost him among the market goers, but he saw him turn a corner to a narrow alley and walked after him. 

“Tiaan!” he finally called halfway down the alley, his voice was hoarse and thick. 

The man in question froze and turned slowly, he was very close and there was no mistaking his face. It was him, he was here. Tiaan. He was really here. Needa felt his throat muscles constrict as a borage of emotions overtook him. He wanted to rush over and kiss him.

“Ti –“ Needa’s mouth was too dry. He swallowed and tried again, “Tiaan, it’s me.” It hurt to force the words past the lump in his throat. Needa came closer, He moved closer still not convinced it was not true. He had dreamt of this so often. It had to be a cruel trick of his mind.

Jerjerrod frowned, as if he couldn't believe his eyes. “Lorth?” he said, taking a half-step towards him. 

The kiss was deep, passionate, and breathless. 

Jerjerrod was here, tangible, alive and warm. Needa pressed himself to him, sagging in relief and longing to be close. 

Jerjerrod seemed as lost for words as Needa. His arms were tight around him, and Needa felt him tremble slightly, his breathing uneven.

Needa kissed him again. A slower and more sensual kiss, his lips gently parting Jerjerrod’s and their tongues touching each-other for a moment, gently brushing together before Jerjerrod’s gave way for Needa to deepen the kiss. Sweet, holy stars, it felt good. 

 

 

After several moments, when they both had calmed, yet were still in each other’s arms, heavy footfalls caught Needa’s attention and he looked over his own shoulder. 

“You need to tell me when you plan on running off,” Veers grumbled, walking down the alleyway. “You could have been in NR custody now for all I knew.” He paused in his step, his expression darkening. “You?” he hissed through gritted teeth, “how in all nine hells are you alive?”

“Max, not here,” Needa implored, he let go of Jerjerrod and turned to face Veers.

Veers’ eyes narrowed. He took several long strides towards them, with his hands curled into fists. 

Needa felt Jerjerrod stiffen behind him. “So sorry to disappoint you. If you care to know, it has hardly been easy –“ 

“I’ll put you out of your misery,” Veers snarled, “bastard!”

Anger welled up in Needa’s chest, but he knew that meeting Veers head-on would just give Veers the excuse he needed to vent his frustrations on both of them. He had seen it often enough over the years, last week Veers had beat some poor sod to death in a bar, and they narrowly avoided capture. No, tact was the way forward.

“Max, please don’t” Needa said calmly and firmly, “this is not the place to attract attention. We have a street full of people right at the end of the alley.”

“Fuck that to the nine hells!” Veers barked. There was a certain shine to his eyes which convinced Needa that Veers had already had today’s first few drinks.

“We do not need to draw attention, there could be NR officials –“

A bolt from a blaster struck the ground a few centimetres away from Veers’ foot, and one swept past Needa’s ear. They all ran for shelter behind two large dumpsters. 

Veers peeked around the corner of the dumpster while undoing the safety on his blaster. He began returning fire very accurately for someone who had been drinking. 

Needa looked at Jerjerrod who freed a blaster from his belt and made ready to fire back. He then peeked around the dumpster.

Their attacker fired, the shots burning holes into the durasteel, and Needa withdrew hastily, the smell of burned metal reaching his nose. 

“Cover me,” Veers said, and both Needa and Jerjerrod fired rapid shots at their attacker as Veers came out of hiding and ran to cover in a narrow passageway between two buildings. 

Jerjerrod killed one of their attackers, and Veers reached the new hideout unharmed, he turned around to fire back.

Needa and Jerjerrod had to duck down again as shots rained down over their hideout, hitting everywhere around them. 

The attacker came into Veers’ line of sight and he shot and incapacitated him. Veers ran out, and kicked the attacker’s blaster away. “All clear. Any injuries?”

“No,” Jerjerrod said, he stood and brushed off his dirty trousers.

Needa stepped towards them, blaster still in hand. The attacker was on the ground, injured and staring up into the barrel of Veers’ blaster. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Veers demanded.

The shooter sneered, “You won’t get a thing –“

Veers stomped his combat boot down over the man’s hand, the snap of bones audible over the howl of pain. Veers leaned down on the same foot, staring the other man in the eye. “I’ll repeat, you huttfucker: who the fuck are you?”

He stared at Veers in defiant silence, breathing hard.

Veers straightened up and drove his steel-capped boot into the attacker’s side. He groaned in pain. 

“Veers, we don’t have time for this,” Jerjerrod said. He stopped a few meters from them and stared at the shooter. “Hang on, I recognize him, he’s a bounty hunter and he has been following me for some time. I thought I’d shaken him off.”

Veers looked at Jerjerrod sharply, “and you led the fucker right to us?”

“As pleasing as the thought of putting him on your tail is, Veers, I did not know either of you were alive until about ten minutes ago,” Jerjerrod said drily. He met Veers’ furious glare stoically.

Needa interrupted. “We should move on. The shooting is bound to have attracted attention. You can piss each other off somewhere else.”

Veers shot the bounty hunter in the face. “’We?” 

“I am going where Lorth is going,” Jerjerrod said, “even if it means standing you, Veers.”

“It is an extra blaster,” Needa reasoned.

“Don’t pretend it’s the metal blaster you want,” Veers snorted. He clipped his own weapon back into his belt. “Fine, let’s get out of here. But you.” He stabbed a finger sharply at Jerjerrod, “stay out of my way.”

While following Veers, Needa clearly heard Jerjerrod mutter: “with your odour, I’ll gladly keep my distance.”

 

They hurried back to where Needa and Veers had stayed the night before, packed up and left without incident. They also managed to board a transport to another town and, still unfollowed, checked into a little motel. Veers went straight for the bar, and Needa and Jerjerrod walked up to the room for some long-awaited privacy.

The room contained two beds, one nightstand and a door to a broom-closet size ‘fresher. There was no curtain over the window, and a coverless lightbulb hang suspended from the ceiling. The room smelled slightly of moist, spirits and decay. 

“I’ve got so many questions,” Jerjerrod said as soon as the door closed behind them and they had made sure that there were no listening bugs. “How can you be alive? And Why are you here with Veers?”

“We are here by coincidence,” Needa said. “Veers is company, and it is good to stick to someone with experience.”

“He certainly has experience being a prick,” Jerjerrod scoffed. 

Needa chuckled. It was true, but it had been nice having a familiar face with him, Veers’ being in a near-constant state of fury and drunkenness none-withstanding. “Two meters of board-shouldered perpetual scowling, and unpleasant odour usually make people think twice before bothering us,” Needa said. 

He had hoped to elicit a smile from Jerjerrod, but his face remained serious. 

“It has been nice to have a familiar face with me,” Needa continued.

Jerjerrod nodded and silently watched Needa with a frown on his face for several moments before Needa took his hand, prompting him to talk. 

“I’m sorry, it is just .. you, alive,” he gave a little smile, “I feel a tad, stunned I suppose.”

“Me too, my darling,” Needa said. “and I am happier than I thought I’d be again.” He brushed a hand down Jerjerrod’s cheek, and then did the same to his scalp, running fingers through his greying hair. “Please tell me how you made it out.” 

Jerjerrod sighed, “the Rebels were winning. They breached through our shield and other defences. I issued an evacuation order and sprinted for my life. I am not particularly proud of it, but there you go. I was so lucky, Lorth,” he leaned closer for a swift, sweet kiss. “I cannot believe I ran into you, here of all places, after so long.”

“Me neither,” Needa said, “but I thank whatever deity for making it happen.”

“What are you even doing here? How do you two get by?”

“We both take jobs as hired guns,” Needa swallowed a sigh, “Max scares people away, I am sober enough to alert him if anyone needs scaring away,” Needa attempted to joke.

“I hope he hasn’t been volatile to you?” Jerjerrod frowned slightly.

Needa did sigh this time, “you’ve seen him, he ticks off so easily. He has swung at me a few times, but I learned not to bring up Endor, and not to comment his spice use.”

“Spice use?”

“He is a volatile, drunken, drug-using bastard,” Needa said. 

“So that is why he was so pissed at me? The empire didn’t lose everything at Endor, so why Endor?” Jerjerrod asked.

“The Executor was lost at Endor, and he and Admiral Piett were involved for a few years. We don’t talk about it, but he talks in his sleep.” Seeing the flagship and the DSII go down simultaneously must have been a huge moral victory for the Rebels, Needa knew, just as it was very demoralizing for the imperials. Veers had on more than one occasion drunkenly yelled about troopers defecting when they learned that the DSII and the Lady were gone. He had demanded they shoot defectors in the back as they ran.

Needa didn’t want to think of Endor. He leaned in for a kiss, and stepped closer into Jerjerrod’s arms. 

Jerjerrod responded in kind, pressing himself to Needa and kissing him deeply and rubbed his hands over the worn cloth of Jerjerrod’s jacket. Their kisses were slow and sensual, exploring each other’s mouths. Needa’s eyes were closed, and he enjoyed the sensation of Jerjerrod’s hand on his scalp.

Needa was beginning to feel hot in his clothes. “Tiaan,” it came out almost like a plea. 

Jerjerrod smirked at him, “seems Veers was right after all?”

“It’s been a while, you git.” Blushing slightly, he grinned at Jerjerrod. “Besides, you look very handsome with sideburns, that coat and a blaster at your belt.”

Jerjerrod smiled, “I am flattered, and the feeling is mutual.” He took Needa’s hand and steered towards the worn bed. 

Needa fiddled with the buttons on Jerjerrod’s coat and managed to open both it and the tunic underneath. He had aged more than the four years warranted: His hair was dyed blond, but the roots were grey, he had more wrinkles, a few scars and pale skin. He was also thinner and more wiry. Needa ran his palm over visible ribs and a few new scars as he leaned in to kiss Jerjerrod’s collarbone and traced his lips over the sensitive skin of his neck and jaw, up to his ear. 

Jerjerrod exhaled forcefully, emitting a little moan.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Needa mumbled into Jerjerrod’s ear, again feeling a sharp pang in his chest even though Jerjerrod was here beside him. 

“I have missed you too, my dear,” Jerjerrod rumbled, his voice deeper than before. He kissed Needa intensely and leaned back onto the bed. 

Needa removed his own jacket and shirt and returned half-naked atop Jerjerrod, feeling his warm skin against his own. He wedged between Jerjerrod’s legs, and ground against him, feeling Jerjerrod’s hardness against his own through their trousers. Needa had spent many nights longing for the sensation of Jerjerrod’s body against his own, the feeling of his warm lips on his, the way Jerjerrod tugged gently at his now grey hair as he pulled him close to deepen the kiss. 

Opening Jerjerrod’s pants, he stuck a hand down his pants and gave his cock a few gentle caresses. He continued this for a few moments, and then he shifted to pull off Jerjerrod’s trousers witch he allowed him. 

Ridding himself of trousers as well, he scooted down until he could reach Jerjerrod’s cock with his mouth. He traced his fingers over the sensitive skin on Jerjerrod’s inner thigh and moved his hand up to gently play with the balls. 

With his tongue, Needa traced along the head, lingering at the slit before running his tongue all the way up. Jerjerrod’s breath hitched, and he moaned softly.

Needa took Jerjerrod’s cock in his mouth and took up a slow, steady pace, moving his head up and down. Jerjerrod’s hands fisted the sheets and Needa gently sucked him.

“Lorth, if you keep that up, it will end sooner than I want it to,” Jerjerrod croaked.

Needa let go of Jerjerrod’s cock, and looked up at him, “what do you want?”

“Is there lube anywhere?” 

“In the drawer,” Needa said. Jerjerrod raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Needa said shaking his head, “Veers is handsome, but I prefer them less drunk and a whole lot cleaner than he has been the past few years.” 

A smile played on his lips as his shoulders relaxed, and he bend to kiss Needa’s forehead. Then he reached into the drawer and found the lube, squirted some into his hand, to warm it, and then palmed Needa’s cock.

He moaned into his kiss, and rolled his hips against the hold on his cock. After a few moments of this, Jerjerrod traced his lubed fingers around his balls, and down to his hole. Needa spread his legs and lifted his hips for access. He fumbled to reach the pillow which he placed under his hips.

Their tongues brushed in a deep, eager kiss, and Needa grinded his hardness against Jerjerrod’s stomach and curled his fingers in his thick, blond hair, urging Jerjerrod on with the movements of his hips, but the touches continued shy of the stimulation he craved. 

Sweat stinging in his eyes he felt as if he was in a daze as he felt the lubed fingers carefully dipping inside him. 

Torturously slow Jerjerrod made scissor motions within him, while dipping his head and kissing his neck, ear and shoulder. Needa ran his fingers through Jerjerrod’s thick, fluffy hair. His body was buzzing with arousal and his cock was hard and leaking against their stomachs. 

“Tiaan, please….”

Smirking down at him, he continued his slow pace a few moments before finally relenting. He rolled a condom on, and placed himself above Needa. He bent to kiss him as he penetrated him, carefully. 

Finally. The sensation of being filled was close to overwhelming, and Needa thrusted up against the slow, steady rhythm of Jerjerrod’s hips. His legs were trembling, and his breath caught in his throat, he leaned up for a kiss, he could not get enough of Jerjerrod’s mouth, the feel of his skin, of being taken and filled.

Jerjerrod’s thrust faster, sweat running down his forehead and back and Needa saw how his arms began trembling. He made a quick decision and rolled them both over to switch places. 

Breathy moans formed on Needa’s lips as he rode him in a fast, even pace, nails scraping down his chest and fingers brushing over nipples. 

Jerjerrod smiled up at him, took his cock in hand and pumped him fast. He tipped his head back and moaned. 

“Tiaan.” It was a breathless, pleading whimper. “Oh Tiaan, I am just– just about–” Needa moaned starkly and all his muscles seemed to lock in place when he climaxed.  
His muscles quickly turned from stone to jelly, and he swayed lightly as Jerjerrod thrusted up against him, moaning with every breath. He slumped down atop of Jerjerrod, sweaty and blissful.  
Jerjerrod thrusted up against him a few more times, hard and fast, then he moaned loudly into Needa’s ear, spilling himself hotly inside him. Jerjerrod trembled as he came clinging onto Needa for dear life. 

For the briefest of moments, it was as if they were from another time–a time when Endor was just the name of a moon, and they were safe in Needa’s bed, in his Coruscanti condo. He wanted badly to take Jerjerrod out to dine at his favourite restaurant. They could take a walk by the lake afterwards, and then a nightcap. 

“Tiaan, I love you” Needa said, raising his head, and smiling warmly, “I love you.”

Jerjerrod smiled, and Needa believed he saw his eyes glistening slightly. “I love you too, my darling.”  
Needa lay his head back down and closed his eyes. He felt content for the first time in years, happy and satisfied in his lover’s arms. 

A loud noise and even louder swearing heard from downstairs. Needa bolted up, eyes wide open, but blind in the dark room. He blinked, they had both fallen asleep, and it was night. It had been so easy to lie in the arms of the man he loved and drift to sleep, dreaming of better times, and now Needa chastised himself for allowing his mind to drift off. 

“What was that?” Jerjerrod asked groggily. He sat up too and turned on the bed lamp.

“Veers,” Needa said exasperatedly. He’d better check to see just how piss-drunk Veers was, and whether or not they needed to up and leave again. He usually didn’t mind much, but it would be nice to have one night where he didn’t have to look after Veers, least he got them both killed because he was too drunk to know when to back down from a fight. 

Jerjerrod snorted. “I suppose I should feel flattered if my presence is enough to disturb his peace of mind.”  
“I’d prefer to be up and running only once per day,” Needa said. He climbed out of bed, found his clothes and put them on. 

Entering the bar, Needa saw broken glass all over the floor, there were chairs and tables upturned. Clearly a fight had happened.  
There was blood on the floor too, and a dent in cheap wallpaper. The ‘tender looked pissed as he was removing empty bottles and broken glass from the bar counter. He glared at Needa when he approached. 

“What happened?” Needa asked.

“Some brute started a fight. He’d been calmly chugging alcohol for a few hours,” the bartender grumbled. “He’d been chugging at light-speed, an I was wondering if he didn’t have enough, but, you know the type eh? He just gave off the ‘don’t approach’ vibe? And he wasn’t doing any harm.”

“But?” Needa prompted.

“Some idiot bothered him, I dunno over what, but suddenly he was on the counter, with the brute hammering down on him. It alerted some of the idiot’s mates.” The tender sent Needa a look, “why are you so interested, you some sort of official?”

“No, no,” Needa assured him. “I am pretty sure the brute you are referring to is my companion, and I am sorry for his behaviour. I hope he did not kill anyone,” Needa said smiled apolegically.

“I sure as fuck hope so too,” the bartender said. “I want all of you out.”

“We will be out by tomorrow morning,” Needa promised. “Where did he go?”

“Out back, I think.”

Needa thanked the tender, and gave him a few extra credits as a form of apology. He hoped it at least covered what Veers had smashed. 

Before he stepped outside the door, Jerjerrod came downstairs after him. “I have a feeling you’ll need support”

 

Needa did not argue, and it did not take long for the two of them to locate Veers. A few alleys down, they saw him leaned against the stone wall, braced on one arm, and barely standing on shaky knees. Some poor sod lay at his feet, ominously still; Needa dearly hoped he was merely unconscious.

“Blimey,” Jerjerrod muttered.

“Well yes, but I think they’re all still breathing this time.” Needa said and surveyed the terrain. Two other men lay sprawled nearby, one of them was adorned with a swollen face and a clearly broken arm, the other with a bloodied face. There was blood on Veers’ fists and on the front of his jacket though he didn’t seem wounded. While Needa and Jerjerrod watched, Veers swayed and stumbled to a seated position, leaned against the wall. 

“This time?”

Needa made an incoherent sound as a reply, and walked up to Veers, blocking the light from a nearby lamppost as he looked down on him. 

Veers’ face was slightly swollen, and his eyes were completely unfocused, but he frowned and blinked up at Needa. 

“How the hell can he be back,” Veers slurred. “Coward. They’re all cowards. Putrid cunts! I will –“he tried to get up, but he was too drunk. “I’ll make every stinky Rebel eat my bl – blaster. Stuff it down all of their throats, every s -single Huttfucking, nerfshitting, cowardly pieces of scum.” 

“Max, come with me,” Needa said. Ignoring the stench of liquor and more unpleasant things emitting from Veers, he carefully put a hand on his shoulder, ready to retreat if Veers should swing at him.

Veers merely pushed him aside. “Stuff it, you toff, go to hell.” After a moment he finally seemed to focus on Needa and his frown deepened. “How – how could we lose Endor. How is Jerjerrod alive and Firmus dead? – why in all the fucks him!” His voice was harsh, raw, and bitter.

“In order to have risen from the dead, I would need to have died in the first place,” Jerjerrod said bone-drily. “And if someone here looks like he crawled out from the grave, it’s you.”

“Come with us back to the room,” Needa said to Veers. He put his arm around Veers’ and with a shoulder supported him. 

The two of them managed to drag Veers all the way up to their room. They dumped him on the second bed in the room, and he began to snore loudly almost instantly.

Jerjerrod sat down on the bed Needa and he had used earlier in silence.

“We must leave tomorrow,” Needa said. He fished a cig from his pocket and lit it, a habit he had picked up again after Endor, and then softly dragged on it. The room was quiet except for Veers snoring. The moment that had allowed them to drift off to the thought of happier times was utterly gone. Needa felt exhausted, and Jerjerrod sported a deep frown on his pale face, looking no less tired.

“Right. This planet is unpleasant anyway,” Jerjerrod said. He sat upright beside Needa, legs crossed and back stiff. 

“Tiaan – all this,” Needa began, blowing out smoke.

Jerjerrod shook his head. “I am staying with you, and I know you cannot just leave him – we cannot just leave him.” He sighed, “of all times for me to begin caring, but stars know what the New Republic will do if they find him.”

Needa was sure both he and Jerjerrod had heard the rumours of the New Republic torturing prisoners before executing them publicly. He dragged on his cig. “Max and I usually hop onto the first transport that takes off. Unless it travels for Coruscant, or any other world where we may be recognized.” The thought of his home planet was painful for a moment, but Needa didn’t allow himself to dwell. Instead, he removed his boots again and put his blaster by the bed. He snuffed out the cig and lay down beside Jerjerrod.

 

It was hard for Needa to fall asleep. Jerjerrod was spooning him, breathing deep and even, and sometimes a light snore came from him. 

“Firmus…”

Veers’ voice was slurred, he was still sleeping, but audible enough. The name was spoken in a warm tone, a sharp contrast to the swearing, drinking and fight-starting bastard Veers usually was nowadays. It was hardly the first time Needa heard this. It stabbed his guts every time. 

“Firmus,” the voice was deep, tender and inviting. “Enough work, come to bed.”

It wasn’t the first time Veers had dreamt of Piett. Needa had similar dreams of Jerjerrod and was sure Veers was recalling the sensation of warm lips against his own. The sight of a smile.

Needa sighed very softly. He had seen the recordings of the Executor explode, and Veers had seen her light up the sky from the planet below. There was nothing he could do for Veers. Of course, he knew a blaster to the head might be a mercy at this point, but the thought of it made his skin crawl.

He turned around and buried his face to Jerjerrod’s warm chest, listening to the beating heart under his skin. In his sleep, Jerjerrod minutely tightened his grip around him.


End file.
